• AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: Blissdom Canada, bloggers, cocktail deeva, cocktaildeeva, rant, shit, social media, twitter


    Did you get the latest invite to the next big thing at the funnest place?

    Product launches, Brand Parties, Testing Sessions…these are all the rage in the world of Brands and Social Media…

    PR companies pumping out invite after invite, trying to lure you off your couch. With the promise of a fun night out and of course free shit of some kind.

    On any given night, in any given city  you can find one of these…and you can follow the party on FB or Twitter and see what a Wonderful time everyone is having chatting up the next newest latest and greatest.

    And… on any given night, in any given city, you can count on seeing the same damn people out and about at these parties selling their “Social Media Stock” one hashtag at a time.

    With all the hype lade out for some of these parties on social media, the buzz of people wondering who is going and how to get an invite, just clambering to get on the guest list…When what you should be doing is the exact opposite…getting the hell OFF the guest list.

    I write a lot about Social Media, Branding, Marketing etc…I love it…and I would say that my emails from people are now a 50/50 split …between home entertaining questions and questions about branding, blogging and social media…

    Am I a Blogging Ninja…? Hells no…am I am Marketing Guru…not even close…a Social Media Expert dipped in Epicness and Awesome sauce…Sweet Baby Jesus NO…

    What I am is a blogger who loves to write, who back in the day, which seems like a lifetime ago, happened to work for two of the biggest brands on the planet, Coca-Cola and Mars…

    It may be hard to believe but there was blogging and brands parties long before Facebook and Twitter…Blogging wasn’t created in 2006 when Twitter came along, it has been around since the late 90’s…and yes even back then some brands saw the value in the Blogged Word…But there in lies the secret…one word…VALUE… 5 little letters that mean so much in this industry…

    This industry is run much like Hollywood…there is the A list…B,C list and of course…the D List…If you think because your getting invited to all these Fab Parties and events, and that you show up to them means your on the A list…your sadly mistaken…Like Kathy Griffin…Your on the D list…great for her career, not so much for yours.

    Bottom line …if you show up to all these events, and smile and chat, name drop, tell everyone how fabulous you are…Tweet, FB, write and post all about them…You have NO VALUE…Your Social Media Stock is worth nothing…You are filler…like those people hired at the Oscars to fill seats…Only that invite would actually be cool…You are a PR and Brands dream…not because they think you have VALUE…but merely because you show up…you do exactly what they want you to do…you Tweet, you FB, you write, you post…and then you go home with your free shit and post pictures of it…telling everyone how wonderful your free shit is…Welcome to the D LIST…and the list is LONG!Sit your ass down on the couch for a change and learn to say NO…Saying NO shows you have True Klout…The fear here being “OMG if I say NO they won’t invite me to any more parties and I will DIE!”…

    It’s all a silly Jedi Mind trick… If you actually say NO, and show that you have some integrity for what you write Tweet FB and post about…Your Social Media Stock will go up…and you will receive more and better invites…Now don’t say YES to all those…cus just like playing the market, your stock can quickly fall again…

    Be picky…they are asking YOU remember…Don’t feel honoured or special that you got an invite…THEY should feel honoured and special if YOU show up…and if your showing up to everything…your not Special…your simply a seat filler with a smartphone and they have your free wifi crack…










44 Responses to Get OFF the Guest List…

  • jacki wrote on July 29, 2012 at 8:42 //

    Hee hee. Kathy Griffin. Gotta love someone who is proudly on the D list.

  • Tammi wrote on July 29, 2012 at 8:50 //

    Good discussion!
    I turned down so many events & trips this year, it felt great! I’m definitely super-picky these days and lovin’ it! Makes more time for doing what I want, and shows that when I do go – I 100% believe in it.

    • Dee wrote on July 29, 2012 at 9:01 //

      Making More time for what it is you love is such a bonus…then when you do go to these events, you can actually enjoy them..They should not feel like work…and the people throwing them will actually appreciate that you came…

      • Tammi wrote on July 29, 2012 at 9:06 //

        It’s like emails. When it comes to reviews, I’m all about the delete, delete, delete. It’s Faboosh to say No and stick to features that actually add value.
        {I threw that Faboosh in there for you, btw!}

        • Dee wrote on July 29, 2012 at 9:08 //

          I love the FABOOSH…
          This gives you such a high quality of readers, followers etc..because they will actually trust what you have to say…you can’t put a price tag on that…

  • Nolie wrote on July 29, 2012 at 8:54 //

    So you mean my having no desire to spend time out of the house and away from my family (with few exceptions) ups my value? Sweet, who knew being a homebody would pay off in the long run.

    • Dee wrote on July 29, 2012 at 9:02 //

      Luv this comment..Yes…it pays off..Enjoy!~!

  • Loukia wrote on July 29, 2012 at 9:08 //

    It can be hard to say no but with some practice, it gets easier! It’s simple for me – I work with brands and companies I love, attend what I want, and gracefully decline invites that aren’t my thing, or that I don’t have time for. It really is okay to say no! Family first above everything!

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:17 //

      Yes Lou Family first…and stick to what you luv..Cheers thanks for the comment

  • Tracy wrote on July 29, 2012 at 9:17 //

    I have actually not even been on twitter for a while now because it actually makes me sick to my stomach when someone mentions that they have a great new “coffee maker” and “its the best” when two months ago they had a different new coffee maker and THAT was the best!? -really makes you question that persons integrity and wonder just how much they sold out for -is a “coffe maker” really worth your good name? …mmmm Sounds like bullshit to me …but then again I am just a consumer -that may have used a product if they believed in what the Blogger…tweeter…social media guru had to say 🙂
    Great article DEE!

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:19 //

      Amazing point and so true…no brand loyalty what so ever…sell your soul for a coffee maker…then sell it again the next week for a new one..Think of the wastefulness as well…thanks so much for your comment…

  • Alex wrote on July 29, 2012 at 9:22 //

    And integrity wins again! You know I’m with you on this stuff, 100%.

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:21 //

      I know you are…and 3 cheers for Integrity…So long as you have it…you truly always win…Cheers

  • Steve Kubien aka @greenleafwood wrote on July 29, 2012 at 9:50 //

    I must be A+++ cuz my last event of any sort was KW Festivus. Wait, that was the last one I was invited to as well. Hmmmm, maybe I’m not on any list but the do-not-call list.

    Now, where is my Kinder Egg and Canadian Chicken….

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:22 //

      Your on the secret special list 😉

  • tarasview wrote on July 29, 2012 at 10:11 //

    it also helps to live a zillion hours away from where all the parties happen- if I show up to something it means I had to drive almost 5 hours to the nearest airport and then fly to wherever the event is… and it better be worth it lol!

    And as for reviews I am all about the “just say no” and “delete button” these days unless it is something I REALLY want 🙂

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:24 //

      True Tara a ton depends on where you live…however the people that are ALWAYS there for EVERYTHING really need to pretend they live a zillion miles away every now and then…Thanks for the comment Cheers

  • Jen Banks wrote on July 29, 2012 at 10:14 //

    Love your honesty and couldn’t agree more. Klout, influence, Kred, these things don’t matter as much as integrity. You sure hit the nail on the head with this one.

    For myself, unless I already absolutely love your brand, I’m doing a favor for a good friend (and they are transparent about why they are asking me to be at the party) or ot’s for a charity I believe in, I’m not attending.

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:26 //

      So Agree…I do go to events that are hosted or involve a good friend..totally for support and I make no mistake about saying Why I am there…Thanks for the comment

  • Neil Hedley wrote on July 29, 2012 at 11:24 //

    Very ballsy post, my friend. Although it’s sad when it becomes a sign of bravery to be honest. Far too many of us measure our self worth by the number of likes, retweets, and “friends” we collect, and whether so-and-so gets invited to more stuff than we do.

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:28 //

      I agree is sad that we consider being honest brave…If we all spoke our minds a little more things might actually change…Great Comment Neil…thank you!

  • Angele @shoeboxbegone wrote on July 29, 2012 at 9:49 //

    I love free Sh&t as much as the next person – but only if its something that I’ll actually use, or is useful for my clients / readers. Otherwise? Thanks but no thanks! I think I’m on the ‘E’ list, if that even exists lol!

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:29 //

      I LOVE THE E LIST!!! Cheers

  • Julia wrote on July 29, 2012 at 9:54 //

    Guess I am rocking it since I have to say no to most things because child care is never included as a stipend. It has to be something I believe in or love to get me to ask hubby to take time off work so I can go.

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:29 //

      Keep Rockin it!!! thanks for reading and commenting

  • Cherie-Lynn Buchanan wrote on July 29, 2012 at 10:06 //

    It’s no secret I like a good party like anyone else but I’ll be honest there are many tweeters and blog post i won’t go near because they are also attending shit like this. I also stopped getting invited to parties because I stopped bringing my camera along- funny how that worked.

    Go to the parties that you are interested in not because there is a chance that you’ll get something for free or just to say you were there but because you believe in the brand.

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:32 //

      Thanks CRAZY that they only wanted you there for your camera…People are just dont right RUDE…We can so do better than this…Great comment

  • Emma wrote on July 29, 2012 at 10:18 //

    The knowledge about your invitation to an event as being part of a bigger machine is important. If you understand you are part of a ‘game’, in a way, you too can play. For example, I attended an event today and tweeted about it. They used me. But, I also used them. Make a calculated decision when you get this kind of invitation, and you’ll come out ahead whether your RSVP is yes or no.

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:34 //

      Great Comment Emma…so important to know that it’s a GAME…not some kind of popularity contest …Make sure it also works for your brand…thanks so much cheers

  • At Home with Kim Vallee wrote on July 29, 2012 at 11:57 //

    Over the last 3 years, I said No to most of the invites I got. Most brands produce events that have nothing special. If I give you my time I expect in return that you deliver something that could become good material for a post or a tweet. Once in a while, I would attend an event simply to chat face to face with bloggers that I like. My advice to brands is that they need to put what is in it for us (bloggers and influencers) ahead of what is in it for them is they want us to show off.

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:35 //

      Right on Point Kim…so true…brands, PR and Marketing…they all need to step it up a little…Its turned into a huge cattle call and no one cares anymore…there can’t be good ROI in that…Cheers and thanks for reading and commenting…

  • angela@spinachtiger wrote on July 30, 2012 at 12:15 //

    I was once on my way to an event and turned around because I realized “hey I NEVER shop here; I’ll never buy this and I’m not going to blog about it. I’ve been invited to events that I don’t blog about because they didn’t deserve it, but I love to write about those I love. I actually enjoying shouting out for companies I think are worthy. But, as far as getting a lot of free merchandise, I’m not up for it, because I’ll only promote what I would willingly purchase. I stop listening to bloggers who push a lot of goods.

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:38 //

      SUCH a great comment Angela…and yay for you for turning around…If we stop being so “Easy” then the brands are going to have to step it up a notch…Cheers and thanks for the comment

  • Cora Brady wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:17 //

    Favourite part: “Am I a Blogging Ninja…? Hells no…am I am Marketing Guru…not even close…a Social Media Expert dipped in Epicness and Awesome sauce…Sweet Baby Jesus NO…” – you are a fantastic writer – very much enjoyed reading this!! And i now feel even more privliaged for your attendance at some of our events. I used to feel bummed about events that i didn’t get invited to and i’m not even a blogger – it’s easy to get caught up!! Then I remembered my objectives and got over it (and grew up)!

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 9:01 //

      Thanks lovely lady…I just have to learn to spell…ah well…
      People do get caught up and forget why they actual want to do this in the first place…They are drunk on free crap…
      Thanks for reading and the comment…Cheers

  • coffee with julie wrote on July 30, 2012 at 8:45 //

    Smart. So bang-on.

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 9:02 //

      Thanks for reading Julie and the comment…Cheers

  • Sarah wrote on July 30, 2012 at 9:00 //

    Great post Dee. I think people measure their ‘coolness’ or status by how many events they get invited to or go to. I see some tweets about certain brands or events and I think WHY is this something you are willing to attach your name to? I choose very carefully these days. I pick events that fit with my passion and have people there that I really want to connect with.

    • Dee wrote on July 30, 2012 at 9:19 //

      So true Sarah…a shame that people would measure their worth by a silly party…and most of them are CRAP..So important to be picky…Thanks for the comment !! Cheers

  • Shash wrote on July 30, 2012 at 4:48 //

    I have to admit, in the past… I got sucked in and caught up in the “they love me – they love me not” cycle of invites and pr pitches. It can be a nasty emotional roller coaster ride that leaves you feeling like you’re sitting in a garden eating worms…

    thanks for the reminder of why I am me Dee

  • Pam @writewrds wrote on July 30, 2012 at 9:07 //

    Good thing I’m not invited to anything. No D-list for me… Whew! ; )

  • Diana wrote on August 1, 2012 at 10:38 //

    This summer, I have declined many an invitation and I rarely batted an eye. But it wasn’t always that way. There isn’t a rulebook for bloggers and how to work with brands but I have definitely learned from my experiences as well as from others’. I can truly say I understand and better appreciate my v-a-l-u-e. It’s almost synonymous with r-e-s-p-e-c-t. If you can respect your worth, others will learn to value it as well.

  • alimartell wrote on August 7, 2012 at 8:34 //

    So what you’re saying is that I should be thankful that I’m never invited to anything, eh? Interesting. 🙂

    Seriously, though. I think you’re right. It’s really important to make sure you want to be at an event you are invited to and you don’t just want to be on a guest list. It’s really easy to confuse the two.

  • Lara Galloway wrote on June 11, 2013 at 4:33 //

    Free wifi crack…Love it!